Having countless responsibilities is the best, isn’t it?
Nope! As kids, we spent so many years wishing that we could be grownups that it’s almost funny to look back at those times in an existence-is-futile, how-did-I-get-here sort of way.
Whether you’re a 20-something like me who’s just been dropped into adulthood against her will or a seasoned veteran in the real person department, you know the struggle. Adulting is the worst, and here’s why.
1. The second paycheck of the month magically turns into rent right before your eyes.
2. Spending more than $6 on anything fills you with a deep sense of existential dread.
3. You have to live in a city for work, but the only apartment you can afford isn’t actually big enough to house a real human being.
4. Halloween gets creepier and less appropriate every year because adulthood is where fun goes to die.
5. The words “health insurance” strike fear into your heart.
6. You can’t just go to the playground and wait out a crisis because you’re “too old” and “you need to go home, or I’m calling the cops.”
7. Your car is out to get you at all times.
8. Pretending to be sick and making your mom play along to avoid your responsibilities for the day is no longer an option.
9. Weekends are less about having fun and more about preparing for the work week ahead in a never-ending cycle because nothing gold can stay.
10. Grocery shopping is a silent killer.
11. Social media starts to feel more like this by the second.
12. You have to make your own appointments.
13. Niceties are thrown to the wind because all anyone really cares about is when you’re getting married and having children when you can’t even handle paying your own phone bill yet.
14. Speaking of phone bills, gross.
16. You have to make your own food but all you typically have on hand is balsamic vinegar, old bread, and donuts.
17. You start realizing that your parents were right…about everything.
18. “No, beer does not count as a meal,” is something that you and your depressing bank account have to hear about 30 times a month.
19. Pinterest is quick to remind you that most of your goals are unattainable.
20. You figure out who’s always going to be there for you no matter what, like student loans.
Hey, paying bills might be the worst, but at least we can find a false sense of agency in eating cheese puffs for dinner. Small victories, friends. Small victories.
Oh, and wine is a thing that exists. We’re going to be okay.